Research carried out by Aviva suggests the typical family debt has soared by 48% since January 2011 (to £7,944). The UK economy shrank in the last quarter of 2011, and if this happens again this quarter, we will officially be in a double dip recession. We are bombarded daily with news stories about the dire state of various European economies. These are worrying times.

The state of the economy has far reaching consequences. Families are affected by two things. First, the constant stream of bad news about the economy makes people more cautious about making changes. Secondly, people are being directly affected, with job losses or job insecurity, pay cuts and pay freezes, and cuts in government spending. Many people are cutting back financially, and are avoiding making big decisions or big changes in their lives. For example, there's a big fall in the numbers of people moving house, retiring early, or choosing to change job.

How does this affect relationships? Financial hardship and uncertainty puts a strain on family life. Some couples may have decided, for other reasons, that their relationship is over. What we are seeing is that some people are avoiding separating; they simply cannot afford to create two homes out of one, or they are fearful that they cannot provide for their future whilst the outlook is so unclear.

People are putting off making decisions about their relationship. This could be an unexpected bonus of a recession – it may encourage people to work through any problems and this could strengthen their relationship.

Interestingly, the UK divorce rate increased by 4.9% in 2010. This was unexpected; it is the first increase in the divorce rate for several years. The 2009 divorce rate was the lowest since records began. This unexpected blip is probably a consequence of the recession; we saw a very sharp drop in the number of new enquiries when the credit crunch began in 2008. People put off making decisions about whether to divorce. Couples can only remain in limbo for so long, which explains why the divorce rate increased in 2010. We expect the next set of figures (either 2011, or perhaps 2012) will show a drop in the divorce rate.

Living together in an unhappy relationship can be damaging in many ways - mentally, physically and financially. People may find themselves trapped in a destructive and unhappy relationship, and this can be a very difficult time, particularly if you have children.

bbl family law is a Norwich based firm of solicitors specialising in family law issues, including divorce, financial settlements, disputes about children, and disputes between unmarried couples. We offer both traditional legal services, and we also offer alternatives such as mediation and collaborative law. Here we look at steps you can take to help you deal with relationship breakdown.

• Think about counselling or family therapy. Even if you instinctively feel opposed to counselling, it can still help be a great help. It can help you reach the right decision about your future, and it can help to implement that decision in the best possible way. You could see a counsellor by yourself, or with your partner. Counselling can help both before you make any decisions about the relationship, and once those decisions have been made. This website www.psychotherapy.org.uk has information on all types of therapies and on how to choose a therapist or counsellor. The website www.rpsych.ac.uk provides information and guidance on all sorts of talking therapies – with fact sheets and explanations.

• Take early advice from a solicitor. Even if you only have a one-off meeting, you will find it helpful to know what your options are. Our experience is that people find these meeting reassuring and it helps ensure you take the right steps (and avoid taking the wrong steps). We offer an initial fixed fee meeting for £100 plus vat.

• Remember that you control how you work with your solicitor. In the old days, clients handed over cases to solicitors who would take them and run them and deal with all the work. These days we work with you in a way that suits you – for example, you might deal with the divorce yourself, and just take advice from us about financial matters. Or you can deal with the paperwork yourself, and take advice from us in the background, or just use us for court hearings. We can do the technical work, whilst you do the day to day work.

• There are still opportunities in the housing market. This can be a good time to buy a property. A good mortgage advisor can help you find a workable and affordable way of structuring your finances. And this can be a good time to invest in pensions, whilst stock markets are low. We at bbl family law have links with many other professionals. We offer a bespoke service, and we work with other experts when this is necessary. For example, we regularly deal with cases involving pensions, family business, companies, inheritances and trusts.

• The best way to resolve issues about your children is almost always by reaching an agreement directly with your partner or ex partner. This ensures the children are sent a consistent message from you both, and it shelters them from any conflict. If you are having problems discussing matters between yourselves, think about mediation.

• Mediation can also help couples resolve financial matters. It is almost always quicker and cheaper than court proceedings. We suggest you still take independent legal advice "in the background" so your interests are protected, but it is still usually the cheapest and most constructive way to resolve disputes. We offer free mediation if you are eligible for public funding (legal aid). Mediation is becoming increasingly popular as people are more aware about the role it plays, and also because the government is limiting the availability of legal aid to take cases to court.

• Think about having a "post nup". This is the same as a pre-nup, but it's signed once you are married. A post nup is an agreement that sets out what happens in the event you divorce. Some couples may have problems with their relationship, and they find it reassuring to establish what will happen if things don't work out. They can also be used if one person inherits some money, or if given money by their parents etc; the post-nup can ring fence this wealth to keep it separate from any matrimonial property in the event of a divorce.

• Make sure you instruct the right lawyer. Resolution is a national organisation of over 5,000 family law professionals committed to a non-confrontational approach to family law. All of our solicitors are members of Resolution, and our mediators are all qualified solicitors who have been trained by Resolution.

TIPS FOR SEPARATING COUPLES

1 Consider counselling, to help you make the right decision, and to help you deal with any issues in the best possible way.

2 Even if you are unsure where your future lies, it's sensible to take legal advice so you know where you stand. We are happy to offer one off meeting.

3 Identify the friends and family members who you can rely on to help you though this time.

4 It will save time and money if you familiarise yourself with the family finances from the outset.

5 To help make taking advice from us as efficient and cost-effective as possible complete the personal details form on our website www.bblfamilylaw.com before you meet us.

6 Try and maintain a dialogue with your partner. We understand that sometimes this can be impossible, but it is likely to make the process smoother.

7 Try other methods of resolving arrangements, such as mediation.

8 When dealing with practical issues, leave the past alone and focus on the future.

OPTIONS

DIY Negotiating your own financial settlement can be a quick and cheap way of resolving matters, but it is generally sensible to take some legal advice to ensure you understand your rights and the implications of the agreement you reach.

Mediation is a practical and informal process, enabling couples to feel in control of decision-making. You and your partner meet a mediator who provides a safe environment to discuss issues freely, aiding communication with a view to reaching fairly negotiated proposals.

Collaborative law Almost all the work is carried out in meetings with you, your lawyer, your partner and their lawyer. All four participants sign an agreement promising to resolve matters in an open, honest and constructive manner, without issuing court proceedings, in a bid to keep everyone at the negotiating table.

Traditional litigation To ensure you have the best protection possible, it may be necessary to apply to court. The court has wide powers to force disclosure, and to recover money and property.

Planning ahead A pre-nuptial agreement may help to prevent future problems. The courts will usually uphold these agreements, if they are prepared properly. They are particularly useful for people who already have children from an earlier relationship, and to preserve wealth for future generations. A cohabitation agreement is also possible for unmarried couples.

WHO WE ARE

bbl family law, and bbl family mediation

32 Crown Road, Norwich NR1 3DT (next to Anglia TV)

01603 679050

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Although these plans have yet to be implemented, change is on its way. The changes come in the form of the Legal Aid, Sentencing and Punishment of Offenders Bill. The Bill is currently undergoing review in the House of Lords.

Since the changes to the legal aid system were first released family lawyers and judges alike have raised concerns about the impact the withdrawal of legal aid might have on the public. A recent survey carried out by Resolution (a national organisation of family lawyers) on its members showed that the majority of practitioners thought that the changes would mean that less than 25% of people who they currently help would still qualify for legal aid.

It is clear that the Government's proposed cuts would severely limit access to legal aid, and this in turn could have wider implications. Some suggest that the changes could increase the number of people who rely on the benefits system, with many people not knowing what financial settlement they are entitled to, leaving them left dependant on the welfare state. There is also likely to be an increase in the people who would have to represent themselves at court, adding yet further pressure on a court system that is already overstretched and which is facing the closure of many courts and the loss of many jobs.

So what are the Government suggesting in place of legal aid, and what is the purpose of its withdrawal? There is a desire within Westminster to see fewer family cases in the court system. Options such as mediation are being put forward as a friendlier and settlement focused approach to dealing with family disputes. There will however always be those cases where mediation will simply not be appropriate.